| Class: | Traditional myth |
| Hab: | Grasslands, open woods, temperate or tropical |
| Fre: | Somewhat rare |
| Num: | Herd: 10-10,000 basic + 10% bulls Bachelor clique: 10 - 1,000 young bulls Retired bulls: 1-4 |
| Lair: | 10% at watering hole; migratory |
| Size: | Horse-sized or taller |
| Move: | 40 mph; = horse |
| Def: | Tough hide, fast run, good dodge, fiery anal blast |
| Att: | Horns |
| Int: | Basic beast |
| Spec: | Fire of chemical, alchemical, or magical nature |
| Posns: | Hide fire resistant, flesh either spicy or foul (by diet) |
Pliny places the bonnacon, or bonasus, in Paeonia, between Macedonia and Thrace, but later writers thought they came from further east or south. Known in less refined dialects as the shit-shooter, the bonnacon may have been based on the gnu, wildebeest, or cape buffalo, all of which have the horse-like tail and short mane and inward curling horns which marked the bonnacon. These curled horns were considered useless for defense.
The truly defining characteristic of the bonnacon is its defensive technique. Many a real animal empties its bowels when perused; the bonnacon elevates this to a fabulous act, for its volcanic expulsions are a spray of fire. The range was impressive, being "documented" at as much as three furlongs (3/8ths of a mile) with a coverage of two or three acres. I consider this large an area effect excessively powerful for an individual, but quite reasonable for a herd.
When pursued, the cannonade bonnacon ejects up half a hundred flaming dung balls at a rate of half dozen shots each round. All shots of a given round will be directed at a single target. These dung missiles are firm enough to fly well, but soft and sticky enough that, when they strike their target, they are most difficult to remove. The effect is much like being stuck by a flagon's worth of Greek fire or napalm for each dung ball that hits its target.
The sprayer bonnacon squirts a volatile mixture of explosive oils. Being splashed by this is like being hosed with a barrelful of Greek fire - or napalm. It is as sticky as well as burning. Each beast keeps enough inflammatory material in an appendix-like sac at the base of its lower intestine for three strong sprays, with a 30' range, plus a half dozen small does able to project 10'.
In either case, a nozzle-like anus guided by the very wide-set eyes, able to look directly behind the beast while it is running, provides remarkable accuracy. The stench of either effluvia or dung balls obscures all other scents, an effect which will cripple scent-sense for a full 24 hours. The horns are not as negligible as real medieval bestiaries may suggest.
The bull bonnacon lives up to the real legends, with a blast as devastating as any gout of dragon breath; the bonnacon was known to immolate warriors and set forests ablaze with a single blast. This is accompanied by a deafening blast and a blinding blaze, as well as a stench that cripples all sent-senses for 24 hours. Cannonade bulls hold up to 200 dung balls in their ammunition sac; each is four times as large as a normal dung ball, which, while doing only twice as much damage, is much more difficult to scrape off. Sprayer bulls hold a full dozen major blasts worth of inflammable effluvia for 60' drenchings, plus a seemingly unending supply of shorter-range (20') squirts.
A herd will be composed of anywhere from ten to ten thousand basic bonnacon plus about one bull bonnacon for every ten basic, which are cows and juveniles. While medieval bestiaries set the bonnacon in the tropics, I see no reason why such a successful bovine should not have a temperate cousin.
Most bonnacon live in herds as large as the landscape can support. These are often mixed herds, with an assortment of bovines, equines, antelope, and other grazers, even ostriches.
Bulls not yet strong enough to challenge, oust, and displace a herd bull roam in cliques, or bachelor packs, of 10-1,000. These cliques are often found traveling in orbit around the main herd, both defending it and waiting for a chance to challenge the established bulls. Cliques may also roam in search of new territory; if they find suitable uninhabited territory, they may "cut" (steal) some cows and start a new herd. The total number of young bulls in a region may equal 30% of the population of the herd.
Retired bulls, displaced from the herd by the younger and sturdier, tend to live either alone or with one to three buddies. These retired bulls are often quite large but may be somewhat slowed by age or injury. Retired bulls often move away, living in marginal habitat or exploring new territories. The total number of retired bulls in a region may equal 10% of the total number in the herb.
The bonacon enjoys eating chilies (which SEE), beans, and cabbages when it can find them; I assume those in India indulge in truly excessively hot curries. They are also said to enjoy sulfur, saltpeter, and dragon dung, as well as asphalt. This makes the bonnacon the bane of many a farmstead.
I believe certain politicians, lawyers, and salespeople ought to be required to wear a bonnacon badge, as a warning to their audiences.
SEE Beasts of Yore, from which I must quote; "P.S. This tidbit about the Bonacon cracks me up: "First noted in heraldry as a crest granted to Richard Chandelor in 1560. At present the SCA College of Arms has a precedent again the registration of such a monster: 'The bonacon was considered too offensive by a significant fraction of the College and is therefore not allowed for use in the SCA.'" Sissies! XD"
SEE Modar's Heraldic Monsters and Medieval Critters for the SCA prohibition reference.
Also SEE The Medieval Bestiary Bonnacon page, which features four delightful original medieval illustrations of the beast.
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